Here it is (or was); 2 a.m. on Valentines day and I’m at that stage of newly single where you’re drinking rum and redbull out of a protein shaker, I’m sitting on my own bedroom floor and the dogs have the bed.
And once again I think that this is where my life starts. That’s a common theme, you see; I’m hopelessly optimistic, and infallibly naïve. I fell face first into the deep-end on a dating site; I intended to look and instead got embroiled in a five hour conversation that started as interesting and sweet, but ended in a panic attack when the person started speaking relationship and I’m still wondering how to wake up alone without confusion.
Admittedly, you’d think that would have made it ideal, right? But it brought me out in hives; I’m starting to feel like I’ve slipped the lead and am battering towards a freedom that invariably ends up in a ditch, but nonetheless I’m not keen to put the collar back on just yet.
I have no idea who I am, I know this. I have not met myself before because I’ve always been one half of a bigger whole, and now there’s just me.
That’s starting to feel like the fun part; I have time now. I can rebuild those friendships that invariably wilted when my relationship started to claim all my time. I can make new friends. I can stop washing someone else’s clothes and start making my own if I want.
And I sound really boring, don’t I? Like a 20 something version of a reformed Stepford Housewife, but here’s the skinny; I think I’m not alone. I think there are a lot of you out there who have done this, are doing this, or who will do this. And I think it’s time we of the first-time-round, long-term relationships network. Sure not everyone stays with their teenage sweetheart for nearly a decade before cutting it off… but some do. Some stay for over a decade.
I know you’re all out there.
So, here’s to the singletons on Valentines day; new and raw, settled and unrepentant, reluctant, frightened, or down right joyous. Here’s to you guys, and to me. Because we have definitely got this, and I will write you all into my next book!